Chapter 11 - Stuck In A Cycle
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Chapter 11 - STUCK IN A CYCLE
WHAT STEPS DO YOU NEED TO TAKE TO STOP COmPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS?
“When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, He enabled her to have children, but Rachel could not conceive.”
—Genesis 29:31 NLT
When I was about fifteen, my mom gave me a book titled Leah by Lois N. Erickson. Immediately, I was intrigued. First, the title was my name, but the subtitle—“a love
story”—puzzled me. Based on everything I knew, Leah’s story was definitely not about love, so I read. In fact, I’ve read that book at least two dozen times, maybe more. The cover is ripped and tattered. Now it’s so old the pages have started to turn brown.
Erickson had a gift for making the characters come alive in my young mind. As I turned the pages, I could feel the soft fabric draped on Leah’s skin as she shopped in the market or the grime caking her feet as she walked the dusty roads looking for her father. I could almost taste the meals she cooked in her pots, waiting for her boys and Jacob to come home to eat. However, even more than the imagery, Erickson had a fantastic ability to capture the characters’ emotions.
If you’re unfamiliar with the story or need a refresher, you’ll find it in Genesis Chapters 29 and 30. Leah was the older sister with weak eyes, and no one wanted to marry her. Jacob was madly in love with her younger sister, Rachel, and worked seven years just to marry her. However, Leah’s father, Laban, arranged for Leah to take Rachel’s place on the wedding day. Jacob was furious, and Rachel was heartbroken. Laban quickly gave Rachel to Jacob as well. Can you imagine waiting all your life to be married only to be rejected by your husband because he really wanted someone else?
Laban’s lie started a comparison cycle that plagued the two sisters most of their lives. Leah compared herself to Rachel’s beauty and the fact that Rachel so effortlessly commanded all of Jacob’s love. Rachel, on the other hand, compared her barrenness to Leah’s ability to give Jacob sons. It was a painful situation: stuck sisters, each desperately wanting what the other had.
Perhaps from time to time, you have found yourself stuck in a cycle of comparison. Maybe it looks like this:
You wanted that job, but she got it, along with all the money and perks that came with it. What you can’t see are the long hours and sacrificed time with family. While you yearn for her job, she cries to God to be home with her kids at night. Perhaps she thinks you’re stunning and looks at your social media profile with envy. But she can’t see the crushing pressure you feel to look and be a certain way all the time. You want her seemingly wonderful life, but what you can’t see is her failing marriage or silent illness. We can’t see, so we stay stuck, comparing, unable to see what’s on the other side.
As I read and reread the story of Leah, I often wondered why my mom named me Leah. Why name me after the sister who was con- sidered unattractive and whose name means weary? Why name me after the sister who spent so much of her life unloved and lonely?
The more I think about it, I believe she was onto something because I found two powerful lessons in the story of Leah that can give us hope when we get stuck in a cycle of comparison.
God Sees You
Genesis 29:31 (NLT) says, “When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he enabled her to have children...” Leah’s story reminds us that God listens to the hearts of His children. Like Leah, God sees you and understands your pain and has a plan for you. It may not be what you want, but I promise He will give you exactly what you need.
Praise Through the Pain
We can understand the depth of Leah’s pain because Genesis 29:32– 35 (NLT) reveals her words after the birth of her first three sons. After Reuben was born, she said, “‘The Lord has noticed my misery, and now my husband will love me.’” After Simeon, she said, “‘The Lord heard that I was unloved and has given me another son.’” After Levi, she said, “‘Surely this time my husband will feel affection for me, since I have given him three sons!’”
I don’t know about you, but I feel for Leah. To love a man, have his children, and still be rejected must have hurt. However, she did something different after the birth of her fourth son, Judah. She said, “Now I will praise the Lord.” (Genesis 29:35 NLT)
I don’t know where you’re stuck. In this moment, please remember that you don’t have to stay stuck in the comparison cycle. Leah’s story reminds us our path to breaking the cycle is to remember that God sees us and then praise Him. Unloved Leah was not as beautiful. Unloved Leah was neglected and hurt. Unloved Leah was blessed by God with children. Unloved Leah chose to praise God through her pain. Unloved Leah became the mother of Judah, and from the tribe of Judah, Jesus, the savior of the world, was born. And it’s this same Unloved Leah whose sons’ names are written on the gates of heaven (Revelation 21:12).
As painful as it was, the story of Leah is indeed a love story. How- ever, it’s not a story of a man loving a woman, but the story of God loving a woman so much He heard her cry, answered her cry, and then positioned her to be the very vessel through which He would save the world.
You never have to and never need to compare yourself to anyone else. You matter too much to God for that. In those moments when you get stuck comparing yourself to others, ask God to help you turn your pain into praise, and then step back and watch God turn your praise into purpose. If He did it for Leah, He’ll do it for you too.
Prayer
Dear God,
I get stuck in the comparison cycle more often than I should. When I consider all You’ve done and all You’ve given me, I know I shouldn’t compare, but I still get stuck. God, thank you for reminding me through the story of Leah that my feelings are valid and that I matter to You. God, it’s not easy to praise through everything that life sends my way. Please help me praise You in my pain and then step back and watch as You turn my praise into purpose.
Amen.
Meet The Author
Leah JM Dean is a bestselling author, speaker, coach, and trusted advisor to organizations and leaders across the globe. She is also Founder and CEO of Conduit International Ltd., a professional and personal development solutions company dedicated to helping organizations, leaders, and women work smarter, live well, and foster meaningful connections. A self-proclaimed recovering workaholic, Leah is passionate about helping her clients find strategies to optimize their work, invest in their wellbeing, and make a lasting impact on the lives of those they touch. To learn more about the book Be Different and pick up your copy, visit https://www.leahjmdean.com/be-different
